When a child begins Aikido, the first question from adults often concerns the course: which teacher to choose, how many times a week to train, which d\u014dj\u014d to attend, whether Aikido is useful for discipline or personal safety.
An informed parent is not a parent who directs the lesson.
But there is one that comes before: what are we asking Aikido to do for our child?
If the idea is to bring the child to the gym so that someone else finally teaches him to obey, to respect rules, or to behave well, the problem is not the Aikido course.
The problem is upstream.
The Aikido teacher can propose an organized educational environment, with precise rules, waiting times, exercises to repeat, companions to respect, and an adult who conducts the lesson. He can correct behavior during practice. He can help the child experience fatigue, error, collaboration, and respect for turns.
But he cannot take the place of the parents. And he should not even be put in the position of trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A child arrives on the tatami with something he did not learn there.
He has already learned\u2014or has not yet learned\u2014how to respond to an adult. He has already experienced what happens when he is told no. He has already discovered whether a rule is maintained or whether it can be withdrawn by insisting hard enough.
These are daily lessons.
A parent says: \u201cNo television today.\u201d
The child protests.
The parent resists for five minutes and then turns on the television.
The next time the child will have learned something. Not necessarily what the parent wanted to teach him.
This does not mean that a family must transform itself into a barracks. It means that a rule, to have educational significance, must possess a certain stability.
Daniele Novara pays particular attention to the educational function of rules, to consistency in their management, and to the role of parents. In his work on families, he also emphasizes the need to distinguish education from simple responses to immediate difficulties.
The point is very concrete.
If the child learns that every limit is negotiable through a long negotiation, it will not be the Aikido teacher who will resolve the issue by putting a keikogi on him.
On the tatami he will simply find another adult.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A good educational rule does not necessarily have to be pleasant.
Sometimes the child gets angry because the rule exists. That is normal.
The parent can listen to the protest without automatically modifying the decision.
\u201cI understand you don\u2019t like it. But today we go to bed at nine.\u201d
This is a much more difficult sentence to pronounce than it seems.
It requires the adult to tolerate a few minutes of bad mood without immediately transforming it into a problem to solve.
Novara speaks of rules as an organizational space that allows the child to grow, distinguishing the educational rule from simple command. In his work he also insists on cohesion and consistency in rule management.
This is also interesting for those who bring a child to practice Aikido.
In the d\u014dj\u014d the child will encounter simple rules: enter appropriately, greet, wait one\u2019s turn, listen when the teacher speaks, do not run outside the designated time, respect the companion during exercises.
These are not decorative rules.
They serve to make collective practice possible. But if the child has learned at home that any rule can be circumvented by insisting with sufficient energy, the teacher\u2019s work becomes unnecessarily complicated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is a distinction that should be very clear.
The parent educates the child.
The school teacher teaches and fulfills an educational function within the school institution.
The Aikido master teaches Aikido and, inevitably, through teaching the discipline also contributes to the child\u2019s development.
The three functions can meet, but they do not coincide.
The teacher can tell a child to stop, to wait, to redo an exercise, to respect the companion. He can intervene when a behavior puts someone at risk. He can create a situation in which the child directly experiences the consequences of a behavior.
He should not become the professional responsible for educating the child on behalf of the family.
Besides, it would be a curious request.
We bring the child to Aikido for two hours a week and ask the teacher to achieve educational results that we ourselves cannot achieve in the other one hundred and sixty-six hours.
Sometimes it seems almost as if the keikogi possesses pedagogical properties unknown to other garments.
It does not work that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then there is a second problem, almost mirror-like.
In Italy we are used to the idea that anyone can become a football coach during his son\u2019s game.
\u201cPass!\u201d
\u201cShoot!\u201d
\u201cDon\u2019t stand there!\u201d
\u201cReferee!\u201d
With Aikido it would be better to avoid importing the same model.
If a child is following a lesson, the parent should let the teacher work.
Do not correct from the sidelines.
Do not anticipate instructions.
Do not explain to the child how to perform a technique while the teacher is doing something else.
Do not transform the drive home into an oral exam:
\u201cDid you do ikkyo well?\u201d
\u201cBut why didn\u2019t you do what the teacher told you?\u201d
\u201cIn my opinion you should have used more force.\u201d
The child has already done the lesson.
It may be enough to ask him if he had fun.
Or ask him nothing at all.Or ask him nothing at all.
Sometimes the best way to accompany an experience is to let it remain an experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The child does not live in separate compartments. There is a form of education that passes through words. Another frequent mistake is to demand that a child immediately begin to behave like a miniature adult. A child who practices Aikido must not become a little fighter ready to resolve every conflict with a technique. A parent has every right to ask questions. The teacher should also be able to ask something. Aikido can become a good educational environment for a child. There is no single age valid for everyone. It depends on the course organization, the didactic proposal, and the characteristics of the child. It is important that the teacher works with activities appropriate to the motor development and attention capacity of the age group involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It can contribute to the development of certain behavioral habits, especially when the course is organized with clear and consistent rules. But it cannot replace family education.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It depends on the d\u014dj\u014d\u2019s organization. The parent\u2019s presence should not, however, turn into a second conducting of the lesson. The teacher must be able to work with the group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aikido proposes a martial practice, but a course for children should not be presented as training in violence or as a guarantee of physical superiority. The objectives must be appropriate to the age and educational purpose of the path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before deciding whether to interrupt or persist, it's helpful to understand why the child doesn't want to go. It could be fatigue, fear, difficulties with a classmate, a relationship with the teacher, boredom, or simply a desire to do something else. The educational response depends on the cause.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daniele Novara,<\/strong> Dalla parte dei genitori. Strumenti per vivere bene il proprio ruolo educativo<\/strong><\/em>, FrancoAngeli, 2009, ristampa 2022.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Edgar Morin,<\/strong> *The Seven Lessons Necessary for the Education of the Future*<\/strong><\/em>, Raffaello Cortina Editore, 2001.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n John Dewey,<\/strong> *Democracy and Education*<\/strong><\/em>, Anicia, 2018<\/strong><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Aikido per bambini: prima del tatami vengono i genitori Quando un bambino comincia Aikido, spesso la prima domanda degli adulti riguarda il corso: quale maestro scegliere, quante volte alla settimana allenarsi, quale d\u014dj\u014d frequentare, se l’Aikido sia utile per la disciplina o per la sicurezza personale.Sono domande legittime.Ce n’\u00e8 per\u00f2 una precedente: che cosa chiediamo […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":888,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=868"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":918,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/868\/revisions\/918"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/888"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.amicidellaikido.it\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Home, school, sports, grandparents, other family members, and other adults of reference form the environment in which he grows.
Edgar Morin has insisted on the complex character of education and the need to consider the relationships between knowledge, individual, society, and context. His text *The Seven Lessons Necessary for the Education of the Future*<\/em>, published in Italy by Raffaello Cortina, arises precisely from a reflection on education as a general problem of society and not as simple content transmission.
For a child who practices Aikido this can be translated into very simple terms.
The adults do not have to do the same job.
But they should avoid sabotaging each other.
If at school you are asked to respect a rule and at home that same ability is continuously contradicted, the child receives different messages.
If the teacher sets a rule of conduct in the d\u014dj\u014d and the parent considers it pointless, the child perceives it.
If instead the adults maintain different roles but mutually recognize the educational function of others, the child encounters a more readable environment.
There is no need for a condominium meeting between parents, teachers, and instructors with a final report.
What is needed above all is a certain coherence.
You can learn more about this topic by reading our article on how Aikido supports neuroscientific study and processes.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\nThe Discipline We Ask of the Child We Must Practice First<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
There is another, much less convenient, that passes through example.
If we demand punctuality and are always ten minutes late, the real message is the delay.
If we ask for respect and insult the referee from the stands, the child registers the insult.
If we ask him to keep a promise and continuously change direction to avoid a protest, we teach that protest can modify the promise.
There is no need to be perfect parents.
It would be rather a demanding objective and, above all, a little realistic.
What is needed is that the child can see in adults behaviors coherent enough to take as reference.
John Dewey, in his pedagogical reflection, links education to experience and the environment in which the person lives. *Democracy and Education*<\/em> considers education as a process that occurs in participation in social life, not simply through the transmission of instructions.
For this reason the adult\u2019s behavior counts more than many sermons.
The child observes.
Then tries.
Then makes mistakes.
Then tries again.
It is already a form of learning.<\/p>\n\n\n\nLet Children Also Have the Pleasure of Playing<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
The parent would like discipline.
The teacher would like attention.
The child would like to play.
It is not necessarily a conflict.<\/strong>
In Aikido for children, play can be a serious teaching tool. Running, rolling, changing direction, avoiding a companion, maintaining a position, falling without getting hurt, and getting back up are bodily experiences that can be organized pedagogically.
The child does not need to know that behind a game the teacher is working on a specific motor skill.
Indeed, it is often better that way.
The activity can be rigorously planned by the teacher and lived by the child as play.
Jerome Bruner\u2019s cultural psychology is useful for understanding the role of context and the construction of meaning in learning. His perspective considers the subject within a culture and shared practices; it is therefore not simply a matter of transferring information from teacher to child.
Childhood Aikido can offer precisely this: an environment in which the child learns by doing.
Not everything needs to be explained. Not everything needs to be turned into a lesson.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAikido Must Not Create Little Rambos<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
This expectation is of little use and risks contradicting the very meaning of a well-constructed educational path.
The child must be able to play.
He must be able to learn to fall.
He must be able to discover that a companion has a body different from his own.
He must be able to wait.
He must be able to make mistakes.
He must be able to succeed.
He must be able to encounter a difficulty without every difficulty being immediately eliminated by the adult.
The martial practice offers particular bodily situations. Two children can grasp each other, move, lose balance, fall, and repeat the same exercise many times.
The teacher must govern these situations carefully.
But the objective is not to build aggressive children, nor children who are afraid of conflict.
The pedagogical objective depends on age, didactic proposal, and the way the teacher constructs the path.
The parent should therefore not ask:
\u201cWill my son become stronger than the others?\u201d
A more interesting question might be:
\u201cWhat will he learn to do better through this practice?\u201d
The answer should be concrete.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat a Parent Can Ask an Aikido Master<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
He can ask what the teacher\u2019s training is, how the course is organized, what age group is accepted, how safety is managed, what the teaching objectives are, and how problematic situations are addressed.
He can observe a lesson, when the organization of the d\u014dj\u014d allows it.
He can ask how a child who does not want to participate is managed.
He can ask what happens when two children quarrel.
He can ask what procedures are adopted in case of injury or emergency.
An informed parent is not a parent who directs the lesson.
Un genitore informato non \u00e8 un genitore che dirige la lezione.
They are two different things.
Once the child has been entrusted to a qualified teacher, it is also necessary to give him the professional space needed to teach.<\/p>\n\n\n\nWhat a Master Can Ask Parents<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
First of all, punctuality.
Then clear communication.
And respect for the d\u014dj\u014d\u2019s rules.
He should be able to ask the parent not to intervene continuously during the lesson, not to correct the child from the edge of the tatami, and to communicate directly to the teacher any problems concerning the child.
He should be able to say:
\u201cThis rule in the d\u014dj\u014d applies to everyone.\u201d
And the parent should be able to answer:
\u201cOkay.\u201d
It will not always be possible.
There will be special situations, children with specific needs, family difficulties, or problems that will require discussion.
Precisely for this reason it is important that the relationship between family and teacher is based on communication, not on constant interference.<\/p>\n\n\n\nBefore Aikido Comes an Pact Between Adults<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
But the result does not depend solely on the teacher.
It depends on the quality of the relationship between the adults who accompany him.
The family maintains its own educational responsibility.
The school maintains its own function.
The Aikido master teaches Aikido and contributes, through that practice, to the child\u2019s development.
The child must be able to be a child.
He can play, laugh, make mistakes, get bored sometimes, and even come home with a sock on wrong after having spent an hour on the tatami.
Not everything needs to produce measurable competence.
And not everything needs to become a test of discipline.
Parents have a part of the work that no teacher can do in their place: to give understandable rules, maintain them when necessary, accept that the child protests, and show through their own behavior what is asked of him.
The teacher has another task: to plan and conduct a practice appropriate to the age, safe, progressive, and consistent with the objectives of Aikido.
When these roles are respected, the child does not need three adults telling him at the same time what to do.
He needs adults who know each their own task. And this, to begin with, is already a good training.<\/p>\n\n\n\nFrequently Asked Questions About Aikido for Children<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
At what age can a child start Aikido?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Does Aikido serve to make children more disciplined?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Should parents attend the lessons?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Should a child learn to defend himself through Aikido?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
What should a parent do if the child does not want to go to class?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
Bibliography<\/h5>\n\n\n\n